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One Day When I Was Someone Else, This Didn't Actually Happen
The Party Story |
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| So, one day a bunch of us weren't
feeling very good so we all went to the doctor's office. She told
us that it could be serious so she gave us all little plastic cups
and told us she needed a urine sample. So we put our little plastic
cups on the table in the middle of the room and we all went into
the men’s room and to the urinals labeled "urine samples here
please" except for Tony because he's shy and prefers his own stall.
When we came out the doctor told us that we were all pregnant and
to each lay on a doctor's table around the room and the nurses
would be right with us. I gave birth first to a foot long chicken
club sub. Brad also had a sub. I was a little jealous when I saw
that he had a party sub, but it was only a cold cut trio. Tony had
twins, but not identical. He had a 2 liter of Pepsi and a 2 liter
of Coke. Darren had a tough time during his delivery because his
was very fragile. But the nurse was very careful and we were all
happy to see that his very large bag of sour cream and onion came
out without a break. Mark had the most uncomfortable time though,
trying to give birth to a 14" ham and pineapple pizza, but his
determination to have a natural birth finally paid off, and he was
very proud. Once all of the delivery was complete the nurse put all
of our little snacks on the table in the middle of the room in
their little beds and we stood in a circle around them and we were
very proud daddies. We all agreed that some day our little snacks
would grow up and make a great party. And all at once we looked at
each other, remembering that today was grey cup. And it was a
special grey cup, because this year the Eskimos and the Oilers got
to line up against each other. This was really odd because the
Oilers usually don't do very good. so the doctor turned on the TV,
a nurse brought us a bowl and dip for Darren’s chips, we found some
little plastic cups on a table in the middle of the room and Tony
poured us some of his Pepsi and coke. We watched the Eski's
kick the snot out of the Oilers, which was okay, because everyone
was cheering for Edmonton anyways. At halftime, Tony almost got in
a fight with one of the other fans, until he realized that she was
cheering for the same team. That’s the best part of having both
teams as home teams. Anyway, she was kinda cute, and she was a
little more familiar with the coliseum then us, so we asked her to
join us at the beer gardens, only I don't drink so I had iced t.
She seemed to be attracted to me the most. I think it was the whole
"father figure" thing that turned her on. After the game, we took
the LRT back to Darren’s place for a post game party. Man that LRT
is packed after a game. I guess the Eskimos and the Oilers don't
usually play on the same night and get out at the same time. When
we got to Darren’s place where both our girlfriends were waiting,
we saw police and flashing lights everywhere. we were so worried we
broke past the police and into the house and our fears were
confirmed: both of our girlfriends- no word of a lie- had a party
before we even got there, and now it was over and we didn't even
get to enjoy it. Hope the girls enjoy the night in the slammer.
Bummer. |
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06.11.13, 23:02
One night in the year 2001, I woke up in the middle of the night with this story idea in
my head. So, I wrote it all down. Without reading it
again for content quality, which I realized later is missing, I
uploaded it onto my very first website as a temporary filler.
I found this recently, and decided to share it with you once again,
in the warm and cozy atmosphere of "bassdrum.ca". Oh, and
sorry, no refunds. |
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