As I stood in front of the mirror brushing my teeth this night, I caught a glimpse of myself, and upon a second glance, made eye contact with my reflection. And it dawned on me that the boy standing there opposite me is someone’s father. That there is a sweet little girl asleep in her bed who looks upon that face everyday and sees a protector, someone to put her whole trust in, someone who will never do her harm. Someone that will raise her, care for her, nurture her, and see her safely and successfully into her future. She sees the face of a man she can call Daddy, who she can rely on to protect her from the world.
And this realization, over three years into her life, completely floored me. Because hiding behind that face, hidden from her sight and understanding, is a boy, struggling with sin, fighting to understand himself, hardly able to navigate the roads and rivers that life throws at him, barely managing to get through the simplest of challenges that faces him day by day, toiling continuously to make ends meet, and barely making life inch by inch on the knowledge that there is something bigger out there. That Jesus looked across that plane we call time and saw me here, felt my pain, understood my struggles, and bought my life with his death.
So, as my reflection finished piercing my heart with it’s juvenile gaze, and I resumed the motions of cleaning my teeth, I was convicted of how my life, my parenting, reflected the knowledge I have of the sacrifice Christ made for me. And I realized that that three year old, who spent the day today crying out to me to relieve her upset stomach pains, is unknowingly relying on me to model what a recipient of Jesus’ love and forgiveness should be. So here I go.
It should be enough, I know, that Jesus died for me. And it should be sufficient, I understand, that God created me and is worthy of my obedience. But today, as I looked myself square in my eyes, straight into my heart, I realized that my daughter, who is under God’s constant care, and who I am privileged enough to be chosen to love and be loved by, is also a tool with which the Lord is using to get my attention, and to cause me to readjust my life to be closer aligned with my Heavenly Father.
So if you pray, please pray that I will have the strength to fulfill my daughter’s unknown need as sufficiently as humanly possible, and that my life and behaviours will be an example to her as to how to become closer to God. And whether you pray or not, please help me to remain accountable to this task that my reflection has reminded me that I have. |
